Family Guy, Season 22

Peter:
Listen, Meg, I'm glad you saved my life at the pool. But I'm sorry I came here in the first place. Everyone deserves a place of their own and I get that now. I promise I'll treat you better in the future.

Meg:
You know, we've had conversations like this again, and again, and nothing ever changes. You're a terrible father! And I'm counting the days 'till I move out of this house.

Peter:
Okay, but what if, in the spirit of inclusion, I tell you I love you in sign language?

[Peter attempts sign language, but the subtitles translate it as "Chase Bank funded the Dakota access pipeline."]

Meg:
[touched] Oh, I love you, Dad! [hugs Peter]

Peter:
[narration] But this never happened, because no one resuscitated me. I did wake up eventually, but now I need help feeding and bathing myself. I spend most of my days gettin' walked around by a nurse who talks to her sister on her phone.

Nurse:
[offscreen] Whoa, hold up! Mom gave YOU the necklace?

Peter:
That's her now.