Family Guy, Season 3

Stewie:
[encounters Pengrove Pig] Pengrove! I've come to live on Jolly Farm! Oh my, the Magic Tome! [opens the book] Well, it's... it's cardboard. And there are no words, there are just... What is it you've drawn here?

Pengrove:
Oh, that's Oswald Owl slamming Mother Maggie in one of them Chinese baskets, eh? [removes his mask to reveal a hideous laughing elderly man] Ah, dead brill, eh?

Stewie:
[yells; runs up to a smoking Mother Maggie] Oh, Mother Maggie, thank God! Something's wrong!

Maggie:
[in a heavier English accent than on T.V.] Whose stinky brat is this?

Stewie:
That's not your voice. Your voice is lyrical, like the gentle strum of a lute!

Maggie:
Piss off, ya grotty little wanker! [kicks Stewie off the set and resumes smoking]

Stewie:
It's a fake. It's not real.

Brian:
I thought it'd be best for you to find out on your own, kid.

Stewie:
I feel like such a fool. Don't even look at me!

Brian:
Hey, come on. Do you want to get some ice cream? That'd make ya feel better. Right? [Stewie shakes his head no] You wanna get some McDonald's? [Stewie shakes his head no again] You wanna take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes? [Stewie nods his head yes] Okay. Let's go take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.