Father Ted, Series 1

Father Dougal:
(curious about their new guest) Who is it Ted?

Father Ted:
Now Dougal... don't over-react.

Father Dougal:
Fair enough.

(Ted takes a long drag on a cigarette to calm himself)

Father Ted:
Right. (long pause). It's Father Stone.

(Dougal faints and falls to the floor)

Father Ted:
Dougal, get up.

Father Dougal:
(gets up) Whoah Ted. No, not him!

Father Ted:
It's him all right.

Father Dougal:
God almighty!

Father Ted:
I know!

Father Dougal:
Why didn't you tell him not to come Ted? You said you would! You promised after the last time!

Father Ted:
I tried but it's like trying to talk to a wall with a mustache!