Father Ted, Series 1

(Ted and Dougal have suggested to Sister Monica that they visit some of the sights on Craggy island)

Sister Monica:
That's wonderful. I'll just go and freshen up.

(Sister Monica leaves the room)

Father Dougal (to Ted):
She'll be putting on makeup I suppose... to impress the lads. Huh?

Father Ted:
Ah no she's probably just going to the toilet.

Father Dougal :
Ah, nuns are great though Ted. It's good because you don't feel as nervous with them as you do with real women do you?

Father Ted:
Ah you're right there.

Father Dougal :
Even though I only got the courage to talk to her a few minutes ago, it's nice to have a nun around. It gives the place a bit of glamour!

Father Ted:
"A woman's touch" (nods head)

(Father Dougal suddenly gets serious and looks at Ted suspiciously)

(later..)

Father Dougal (to Sister Monica):
Ted says you were touching him!