Father Ted, Series 2

(Ted and Dougal are trying to write a song for the Eurosong contest)

Dougal:
(excitedly) I think... I think I have a lyric!

Father Ted:
Right. Lyrics! (gets pen and paper) Go ahead there Dougal.

Dougal:
What's it called again?

Father Ted:
"My Lovely Horse"

Dougal:
Right. How about this?

My Lovely Horse,

I want to hold you so tight

I want to rub my fingers through your tail

and love you all night

Father Ted:
Dougal, Dougal, stop there! We want to keep out of the whole area of actually being in love with the horse.

Dougal:
Oh right.

Father Ted:
It's more that we're friends with the horse that we want to jump around with it and have a good laugh with it.

Dougal:
Right, but what about something like

Take this lump of sugar baby

You know you want it

Dougal:
That'd be something like those rap fellas would write.

Father Ted:
You can forget about them Dougal. You can forget about "Icy-T" and "Scoopy Scoopy Dog Dog". They're no help to us now.