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Father Ted, Series 3

Father Ted is a situation comedy produced by Hat Trick Productions for the UK's Channel 4 and written by Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan. It aired over three series from 21 April 1995 until 1 May 1998. more »

(Father Ted and Father Cagney are wearing motorbike helmets to protect themselves from Father Jack's nail cutting)

Father Cagney:
How much money did this parish bring in last year?

Father Ted:
How much money? God I don't know.

(One of Father Jack's fingernails is clipped and breaks a window)

Father Ted:
Another bloody window gone!.. I suppose we take in about 150, maybe 200 pounds.

(Another one of Father Jack's fingernails flies free and strikes Ted in the helmet)

Father Ted:
Mrs Doyle! Aim into the wall, please.

Father Cagney:
200 pounds huh? What's that? Not even 400 dollars. You know what I'd do with 400 dollars? I'd wipe my ass with 400 dollars.

(Father Ted is disgusted at this)

Father Ted:
Good God. And can that still be used as legal tender?

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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