Gavin & Stacey, Series 2

Smithy (about Nessa's pregnancy):
How long have you known about this?

Gavin:
I just found out tonight.

Smithy (stands up):
Bullshit!

Gavin:
I did.

Mick:
He did, we all found out tonight.

Smithy:
Oh, right. So, everyone found out before me?

Bryn:
No, I found out at the exact same time as you, Smithy.

Smithy (pointing at Stacey):
I bet she knew.

Stacey:
I only found out at the wedding!

Smithy:
That was over three weeks ago!

Gavin:
Oh, come on mate!

Smithy:
Don't 'come on' me, mate! This is all your fault!

Pam & Gavin:
How?!

Smithy:
You and her, ringing each other and texting, arranging to meet up in Leicester Square! (Kicks table and moves to Gavin) I didn't even wanna go that day! If you hadn't dragged me there, none of this would have happened!

Nessa:
It didn't happen that day.

Smithy:
What?

Nessa:
It happened at Pam and Mick's.

Gwen:
When you went off, in the garden.

Smithy:
That?! That doesn't count, that was rubbish!

Nessa:
I know.