George Lopez, Season 3

[after Max and Ricky drove George's car into the backyard]

George:
How the hell did that happen?

Max:
Well, we were trying to surprise you and wash your car, but the hose is too short. I love you, Dad.

George:
Look, I want the truth.

Ricky:
Okay. Here's what happened. We ditched school. But it was lucky because two gangbangers were stealing your car. We scared them away. But when we tried to put the car back in the driveway, we crashed, so I guess you're welcome, Mr. Lopez.

George:
[to Max] You, you're going back to school. We'll deal with this tonight. [to Ricky] And you, you're out of here, man. I'm taking you back to your mother. And say goodbye to Max. Because that's the last time you're gonna see him. Do you know you could've killed someone?

Ernie:
Wow. Hey, your mom sits out here. What if she was in that chair?

George:
Don't try to cheer me up.