George Lopez, Season 4

Linda:
[to George] What are my real mother and father like?

George:
Well, our father's easy. He ran out on Mom before you were born. I didn't know him, but I tracked him down last year. I punched him in the face, he asked me for a kidney and he died.

Linda:
And my mother?

George:
Oh, yeah. She's kind of hard to describe in just a few words. She's a short, bitter, drunk. Actually, that covers it.