Glee, Season 2

Brittany:
Go Mercedes, go Mercedes, go! (smiles)

Mercedes:
(sitting on Santa's lap) I've been a very good girl, Santa. I want a pony and a dolly that laughs and cries and...one of us smells like McDonald's.

Lauren:
(sitting on Santa's lap) I want Puckerman to love me. He's a fox. And I want sweet potato fries.

Santana:
(sitting on Santa's lap) I want bling. I can't be more specific than that. Okay hold up. Don't tell that's a roll of Certs in your pocket. (gets off)

Artie:
(nodding)

Quinn:
(sitting on Santa's lap) Do you have anything for stretch marks?

Sam:
(sitting on Santa's lap) Chapstick. Lots of Chapstick.

Mike:
(sitting on Santa's lap) I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.

Tina:
(sitting on Santa's lap) When does Asian Santa arrive?

Elf Lady:
Next.

Brittany:
(to Elf Lady) Just know, you have rights.

Santa:
Ho, ho, ho.

Brittany:
(sits on Santa's lap)

Santa:
What's your name?

Brittany:
Brittany. You've gotten really tan.

Santa:
That's because in the North Pole there is a hole in the ozone.

Brittany:
(laughs) You're amazing. I know you're really busy so I only want one thing for Christmas. (points to Artie) Do you see my boyfriend over there?

Artie:
(waves)

Brittany:
For Christmas, I want him to be able to walk. You can do that, can't you Santa?

Artie:
(frowns)

Santa:
(turns to Artie)

Artie:
(shakes his head no)

Santa:
Um...sure. I'm on it.

Brittany:
Thank you Santa.

Artie:
Now we're screwed.

Brittany:
(hugs Santa)