Histeria!

Father Time:
[about Alexander the Great naming cities after himself] But for travelers, it could get confusing.

Toast:
Yo, excuse me. Could you tell me how to get to Alexandria?

World's Oldest Woman:
Sure thing, bubby. Just head southeast into Persia, cross the Zambrose Mountains, and when you hit Afghanistan, turn right at Kabul. You can't miss it.

Toast:
Whoa, that's kinda far. Uh, how about Alexandria?

World's Oldest Woman:
OK, y'know where Merv and Central Asia used to be?

Toast:
Yeah.

World's Oldest Woman:
Bingo!

Toast:
Central Asia, huh? Well, what about Alexandria?

World's Oldest Woman:
Ohboy, darlin', you just went right past it! Just turn around and make tracks about 1200 kilometers worth, and when you hit the Libyan Border, hang a right to the Mediterranean Sea. Then you row-row-row your boat, uno-dos-tres, and when you find yourself around a bunch of naked armless statues, you're there!

Toast:
Uh... well, that really sounds out of the way. Do you think Alexandria would be closer?

World's Oldest Woman:
Oh, you mean that Alexandria! Dreamboat, you're here!