Histeria!

[Throughout this coversation, mosquitoes continually bite the characters.]

Toast:
Mr. President-dude! Ow! Thanks for coming and stuff.

Theodore Roosevelt:
Ow! Dee-lighted! What's wrong here, friend? Ow!

Toast:
Well - dang! - for starters, just look! Ow! Mondo disease! The canal-digging is slowing down because everyone's getting sick - ow - with malaria and yellow fever! Ow!

Theodore Roosevelt:
Hmmm... ow! The same two blasted diseases that crippled the French when they were digging the canal! Ow!

Toast:
Ow! Whaddaya think - ow! - is causing it? Ow!

Theodore Roosevelt:
Ow! I don't know. Ow!

Toast:
Could it be - ohw! - the food?

Theodore Roosevelt:
Ow! I don't think so.

Toast:
Humidity? Goh!

Theodore Roosevelt:
Ow! Doubtful. Ohw!

Toast:
Ow! Tight pants?

Theodore Roosevelt:
Nuh-uh. Ouch!

Toast:
Bean-bag babies? Ow!

Theodore Roosevelt:
Ow! Not likely.

Toast:
Smell of gin?

Theodore Roosevelt:
Who?

Toast:
Never mind. Ow!

Theodore Roosevelt:
Ow!

Toast:
Those little bobbing-head dolls?

Theodore Roosevelt:
Ow! Nope.

Toast:
Too much - ow! - pocket change?

Theodore Roosevelt:
Yeow! I don't think so.

Toast:
Tapioca pudding? Ouch!

Theodore Roosevelt:
Hey, maybe... naw. Ow!

Toast:
Ow! Anything starting with the letter Q? Ow!

Theodore Roosevelt:
No! Ow!

Toast:
Spanish peanuts? Owh!

Theodore Roosevelt:
No! Oww!

Toast:
Aliens from Mars wearing golf shoes and lipstick?

Theodore Roosevelt:
No, no, and you need help. Ow! Well, whatever it is, it's making the men sick. These pesky mosquitoes sure are driving me crazy!