ICarly, Season 5

Sam:
When do we start the show?

Freddie:
Where's Carly?

Sam:
In her room, fixing her make-up.

Freddie:
She was crying?

Sam:
Yeah.

Gibby:
Why? You hit her?

Sam:
No, I didn't hit her!

Freddie:
She's still upset about her dad not coming home.

Gibby:
Oh well, she won't be upset in a few minutes when.. [notices Carly] Shut up! She's walking in!

Freddie:
He's, just-

Carly:
I don't care. Let's just get iCarly over with so I can go back to my room and cry in the dark.

Freddie:
In.. 5, 4, 3, 2

Carly:
Hi.

Sam:
And I'm Sam. Now hold onto your butter beans cause this is..

Carly and Sam:
iCarly!

Sam:
Okay, now recently, we've noticed something about pineapples.

Carly:
They're usually naked.

Sam:
But tonight..

Carly:
We're gonna dress up a few pineapples real purty-like.

Sam:
No, we're not.

Carly:
What are you doing?

Sam:
I'll tell you what we're doing. Me, Gibby and Frednard got a cool surprise for little miss Carly Shay here.

[Freddie hands Gibby the camera]

Freddie:
As a lot of you know, Carly's dad..

Sam:
Colonel Shay.

Freddie:
Is in the airforce.

Carly:
Can we not talk about my dad?

Sam:
So he couldn't be here in person..

Freddie:
To spend his birthday with Carly and her brother Spencer.

Carly:
This is cruel.

Sam:
Therefore, we've arranged for Carly to throw her dad a birthday iParty!

Freddie:
Via the internet.

Carly:
I told you guys, he's at some military base for the next 5 weeks, there's no way we can contact him.

Freddie:
Ah! But there is.

Sam:
And now, young Freddie will establish contact with her dad, Corneal Shay!

Carly:
What?!

Gibby:
Spencer, get out here!

Spencer:
I'm out here!

Freddie:
And, connecting to overseas airforce base.. now!

Sam:
What up with the picture?

Freddie:
One sec. [types] "Colonel Shay, can you see us?"

Carly:
Can he?!

Carly's Dad:
[types] "Yes".

Freddie:
He can see us!

Carly:
Hey dad!

Spencer:
Hey dad!

Carly:
It's me!

Spencer:
I'm a lawyer!

Sam:
Why can't we see him?

Freddie:
I dunno, he can't get a clear video signal out.

Spencer:
But he can see and hear everything we're saying?

Carly's Dad:
[types] "Yes".

Freddie:
Yes! Here, I'll put the instant message window on the big screen.

Carly's Dad:
[types] "Hey guys!"

Carly:
Ah! Hey dad!

Spencer:
Happy Birthday!

Carly:
I miss you!

Spencer:
I'm a lawyer!

Carly:
Dad! I love you so much!

Carly's Dad:
[types] "Love you too snug bug :)"

Carly:
Ahh! He called me snug bug, that's me, that's what he calls me!

Gibby:
That's a cute nickname.

Carly's Dad:
[types] "Hey Sam."

Sam:
Hey Colonel Shay.

Carly's Dad:
[types] "How's your mom?"

Sam:
Oh my mom? Same as always.

Carly's Dad:
[types] "I'm so sorry."

Freddie:
Okay Colonel Shay, get excited, cause it's time for...

[Gibby brings out the birthday cake]

[Drum roll and Sam plays the music and switches the bright blue lights on]

Sam, Freddie, Spencer and Gibby:
[sing] Happy Birthday Colonel Shay..

Spencer:
DAD!

Sam, Freddie, Spencer and Gibby:
..today's the day that you were born!

Gibby:
Gibbay!

Sam, Freddie, Spencer and Gibby:
We wish that you could be here with us, cause if you were we'd give you a hug! [shout] Give him a hug! [sing] We bought a cake shaped like a plane aaaannnnnddddd.... payed for it with your credit card! YEAH!! Woo!! Woop!

[Balloons fall from the ceiling]

Sam:
C'mon, c'mon, the candles, light them!

Freddie:
Yeah, do it!

Spencer:
I will now light the candles on 3.. 1-

[The cake blows up everywhere]

Carly's Dad:
[types] "Nice work Spencer."

Freddie:
Uh guys, I may not be able to hold this connection much longer.

[Carly and Spencer argue on who says goodbye]

Spencer:
Just say it!

Carly:
Ok, okay! Dad, I really wish we were together, but, this almost feels like we are. Um, I'm really proud of you. Happy Birthday! I love you.

Carly's Dad:
[types] "I love you too."

Carly:
And I love you guys. [gives Sam and Freddie and hug.]

Freddie:
That's it, lost the connection.

[Sam gives Carly a hug]

Spencer:
Aw man, there's cake on the ceiling.

Gibby:
Where? [cake falls onto his face] Oh, there.