Lopez vs Lopez, Season 1

George Lopez:
No domestic beer for you, Oscar. My best friend deserves only the best imported.

Oscar:
Thanks, man. Hey, you know what would be even better, though?

George Lopez:
If we were high.

Oscar:
How'd you know I was gonna say that?

George Lopez:
'Cause you said the same thing this morning, then we got high.

Oscar:
Hey, take it easy. Some of us are high.

Mayan Lopez:
Sorry, there's an entitled white lady at work.

Oscar:
Just one?

George Lopez:
One is all you need to ground a Delta flight.

Mayan Lopez:
She treats us all like crap.

George Lopez:
Sounds like you need to show her the Lopez way.

Mayan Lopez:
Please, don't start.

George Lopez:
It's a foolproof method. It's even how your mom and I fell in love. On our first date, we made the waiter cry.

Mayan Lopez:
That's not something to be proud of.