Lopez vs Lopez, Season 1

George Lopez:
All Latino kids drink it. My mom's breast milk went straight into my coffee. Didn't stunt my growth.

Rosie:
It's true. His head is still growing.

George Lopez:
(on the phone) Hey, what's up? Aw, man, how you doin'? It's been a long time, huh? It's good to hear from you, man. Yeah, we need to get a beer. All right, later. (high-pitched voice) Bye.

Mayan Lopez:
Who was that?

George Lopez:
Um, Verizon.

Rosie:
He always uses phone companies when he's lying. He used to get a ton of calls from a hoochie named Pacific Bell.

George Lopez:
It's just, uh, Don Patino.