Married... with Children, Season 6

Peg:
Come on, Al. Share with us what you care about.

(Al stands up)

Al:
"I Care," by Al Bundy

When hooters jiggle around

And I find nickels on the ground

I care.

When a Mustang engine purrs

And the bathroom is not hers

I care.

When the pitcher's on the mound

And the wife is underground

I care.

But when I've been playing this for days

I will kill

Anyone who stays

I swear

(Al sits back down and buries his face in his hands)

Peg:
...And if you really want a scare

Check out his underwear

If you dare.