Married... with Children, Season 7

Rubio the Cruel (Steve Rhoades):
Men, hide your women, women, hide your heinies! For I'll bring you the unique musical styling of Rubio the Cruel! Rubettes?

[three identically dressed pirates line up behind him]

Rubio the Cruel:
[singing] For I'll be true to the song I sing, and live and die - ha-ha! - a pirate king! For I am a pirate king, and it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a pirate king! Whoo, I am a pirate king...!

[dissolve to Rubio singing from the bridge]

Rubio the Cruel:
[singing] I am the very model of a modern major general, I've information vegetable, animal and mineral...

[shot of the pirates and Paco's men all committing suicide, by hanging themselves, stabbing themselves, or just jumping into the ocean; dissolve to Rubio's last number]

Rubio the Cruel:
[singing] Ding-ding-ding went the bell, zing-zing-zing went my heartstrings...

Captain Courage (Al):
Now we all know why he's called Rubio the Cruel!