Men Behaving Badly, Series 5

[Gary & Tony are drunk and playing Monopoly; Tony is rolling the die]

Tony:
Eight, eight... yeah! Three. Ooh, chance. Nervous, really nervous. Haa, yeah! Get outta jail free card! Is that just for Monopoly, or does it work in real life too?

Gary:
I think it's just fornopoly

[they sit back and Tony uncovers his belly]

Tony:
You see, the thing about the human body is, as we know, is that it is a temple.

Gary:
Yep

Tony:
It's just that my temple seems to have grown into a slightly larger temple.

Gary:
With a big wobbly dome

[Gary jiggles Tony's belly]

Tony:
Anyway, there's a load of nonsense talked about fat, i'n't there? I mean, no-one ever went up to Winston Churchill, and said, "Hey, Winnie, you can't lead Britain in to victory in the Second World War, because you're a bit of a chubber".

Gary:
Or, "Excuse me, Mister Meat Loaf, you seem to be carrying an extra few pounds around, you can make no more hit records until you can squeez into some smaller denims". Do you want another oyster?

Tony:
No, thanks, mate. They disagree with me.

Gary:
[as oyster] "No we don't!"

[both laugh drunkenly]