Men Behaving Badly, Series 6

[Gary is drunk and stagger into the office, slamming the door open]:

Anthea:
Did you have a nice drink with Tony?

Gary:
Tony Posty! Yes, I did, thank you very much. Here, wait, wait a minute, I've always wanted to...I've always to try this.

[He swings on the door then gets off and walks over to his desk]:

Gary:
Not actually as much fun as I'd expected.

George:
Someone's a bit squiffy.

Gary:
Yes, that'll be me. [Anthea starts to leave] No, wait, wait, Anthea don't go, wait, don't go wait, don't... pull up a...a thing, you too Porgie.

[Gary sits on his desk and Anthea and George take two chairs and sits down]

Gary:
I've had to get squiffy to tell you this, 'cause in a funny way...I care about you. Now, I know that might sound a bit stupid and a bit spooky and perhaps even a bit... [He puts his hand on his head] God, I'm getting a headache! Right...here goes. I've got some bad news.

Anthea:
Is it about the pencils?

Gary:
No, just forget about the bloody pencils, Anthea. [pause] The office has to close down in two weeks and we're all out of a job.

[pause]:

Anthea:
Oh, I can't see that happening.

George:
Nor can I.

[Gary is flummoxed. He picks up a stapler]:

Gary:
Look, imagine this is our job. Yeah? Now look closely. [He turns and gestures with the stapler to the window] Job...going out of window. No? Job...window. Window...job. [He throws the stapler out of the window, breaking the glass. Anthea and George stand up in shock]

Gary:
That obviously works a bit better better if you open the window first. But you get my point. [turns and notices Anthea and George standing right by him] Oh! There will of course be a redundy package, a rebundancy package. [takes George by the tie and plays with said tie] George, you've been with the company for...eighty three years, you'll get three million and several thousand pounds. Anthea, [He makes his hand into a fist and almost does a "matey" punch on her shoulder] You've been with the company fifty two years, so you get a small castle in Surrey. Well done! [He sits back down on his desk] Don't worry about me, I obviously will find a nice slot with Parks and Spenenser or Tele British Comms. One of the two.

[pause]:

Gary:
Shall we hug, would that help? [Anthea and George back away from his stretched arms]

Anthea:
Well, right, [clasps her hands together] I'll just get back to work. [She leaves]

Gary:
Oh, blast!

'[He walks over to his desk]:

Gary:
George...say something.

George:
I can't see it happening.

[While grabbing his chair, Gary falls over]: