Misfits, Series 3

Shaun:
There's an anger management counselor here for you.

Rudy:
For me? [gives Simon a look]

Shaun:
Yeah. It's all part of your "ongoing rehabilitation." [to Simon] Did you have the last Twix?

Simon:
Yes. [Shaun grabs it from him] She's waiting for you in my office. Enjoy. [leaves]

Rudy:
For fuck's sake. It wasn't even me, it was him.

Simon:
Who?

Rudy:
Who do you think? [points to his chest] This whiny little prick in here. The other me. I was seeing this girl, right. Nice girl, Dutch-Irish. Had a webbed foot. Left foot, fine. Right foot, just a little bit creepy. Might have been the other way around. Anyway, so we have this great big row, we end up breaking up. Honestly, I weren't that bothered. Cause there's plenty more fish in the sea and all that. She couldn't wear flip-flops. Because of the web, she had no toe-groove. Anyway, so we split up. You know, she's really angry, starts running her mouth off, all gets a little bit personal. Honestly, dude, I were fine with it, mate. Not him. He starts getting himself all upset, ends up trashing her car, she rang the police. Boom.

Simon:
So that's why you're on community service?

Rudy:
Yes! Y-Yes. He did it, I took the rap. I'm totally innocent. Mmm. Yes. We should write a campaign song. Do some wristbands. You, you're very clever, aren't you, eh?