Night Court, Season 3

Dan Fielding:
Look, I am sorry you were born... that way.

Vincent Daniels:
That's exactly what my father said. Just before he left.

Harry Stone:
Your father left?

Vincent Daniels:
I guess it was rough on him. His friends' sons played baseball. His carried the water bucket. His friends' sons played football. His carried the water bucket. To this day, I go crazy every time I go by a drinking fountain!

Dan Fielding:
You mean your father walked out on you just because you were... petite?

Vincent Daniels:
The night before he left, I heard him tell my mother that it was his fault. He said that I was a punishment from God. But my mother was an intelligent and caring woman. And she finally explained it to me, that it wasn't my inadequacies he couldn't deal with.

[He looks Dan square in the eye]

Vincent Daniels:
It was his own.

[silence]

Dan Fielding:
[guiltily] Is it true you can hang yourself with your own belt?

Harry Stone:
You can do it with your own words.

Dan Fielding:
[stands] Vincent, I am truly sorry for everything that I said and did. You may shoot me in the vital organ of your choice.

Vincent Daniels:
Apology accepted. I'll get back to you on which organ.