Night Court, Season 7

Dan:
Before you warm up the tar and feathers, you might at least pretend to listen to my side of the story.

Judge Casement:
Are you suggesting I'm unfair?

Dan:
You ignored my record as a prosecutor, and accepted witness testimony from people who didn't even know me.

Judge Casement:
They were all women you slept with!

Dan:
That doesn't mean we'd actually spoken.

Judge Casement:
I'll take that into account. Anything else?

Dan:
Yes. I would like to thank each of my friends for coming down here, and sticking up for me. Especially you, Roz.

Roz:
Beats sitting here listening to Harry.

Dan:
I would also like to thank Mr. Johnson, and Mr. Wood, for teaching me a very important lesson. You see, all my life I wanted to be rich and important, like you. Even as a kid back in Louisiana, I would wear a tie while slopping hogs, pretending they were reporters, all clamoring to ask me questions about my latest courtroom triumph. I would graciously answer each in turn, until my bucket was empty and my tie was covered with pig phlegm. All those years ago, and then suddenly, I had the chance to become one of you! To my own surprise, I said no. Because I realized that... you're not better than the people I grew up with. You're not even better than the pigs.