Only Fools and Horses, Series 2 (1982)

Grandad:
Oh my good gawd...

Rodney:
Is this where you've been for the last couple of days, painting Mum's monument??

Del:
It was her favourite colour and we both agreed it needed brightening up.

Rodney:
Brightening? It looks more like a rocket launch!

Del:
Well, I didn't know it was going to be luminous, did I?

Rodney:
Do you realise our mum's grave is now going to become a beacon for every Satanist and acid-head in England? There's gonna be white witches dancing round that on a full moon! There's going to be chicken blood everywhere!

Grandad:
What worries me is that it's on the main flight path to Heathrow!

Del:
I wish you two could see yourselves; there's Mum and her monument, she's fast asleep, the third coat's hardly dry and you're already quivering in your shoes. Well, I'll tell you this much, I don't regret that I did it, and I will not bow my head to any snotty-nosed town hall clerks and their narrow-minded rules! I shall look 'em straight in the face and say "I am the man who's responsible and I'm proud of it!" [Del takes another look at the monument, grimaces and turns to face Rodney and Grandad] We'll put it down to vandals. Come on, let's get out of here before we get our collars felt!