Only Fools and Horses, Series 7 (1990-1991)

[Trigger and Boycie are sitting at Sid's Cafe. Trigger has a green-and-yellow ribbon attached to a bronze medal on the left side of his coat. Del and Rodney come over and join them.]

Del:
Mornin', all.

Trigger:
Alright, Del?

Boycie:
[looks up from his newspaper as Del goes to sit on his side] Thank God you've arrived. [As Rodney sits down] He can bore you two with it, now.

Rodney:
What's that?

Boycie:
[with mock support] Trigger's got a medal! [Trigger shows it off]

Del:
[notices it] Oh, yeah! Where'd'ya find that, then, Trig?

Trigger:
No, I was awarded it. [Puts his left hand in his pocket] Look. [Takes out a photograph, turns it round so Del can see. It shows Trigger, smartly dressed in his road sweeper uniform, with his medal, grinning and holding his broom, standing next to a smartly-dressed, stern-looking black woman] It's a picture of me receiving my medal from Councillor Murray. [Turns it so Rodney can see] See? [Points to the photo of himself] That's me.

Rodney:
[Sarcastically] Oh, that's you, is it, Trig? Right. Well, glad you cleared that up. [Shoots Del a look]

Del:
'Ere, lemme have a look at that a minute, Trig, will ya? [Trigger hands him the photograph, which he studies] Oh, right, so that's that Councillor Murray, is it? She's the old cow that refused my application for a council grant! [Matter-of-factly] I've never been so humiliated in my life.

Boycie:
[As Del hands the photograph back to Trigger] Ah Derek, when you have the time, you must tell me all about it.

Del:
[Thinking] Hey, d'ya mean that some of your friends down at the Masonic Lodge have got influence in the Town Hall?

Boycie:
Eh, no. It's just that I've often wondered what it must be like to apply for a council grant! [Laughs]

Del:
[To Rodney, sarcastically] And the day started off so well, didn't it?

Trigger:
It was Councillor Murray's idea. She's Head of Finance and Facilities at the Town Hall. And she says that local people should be rewarded for services to the community. [Looks at his photograph] Proud moment in my family's history.

Boycie:
Trigger, you haven't got a family history. You were created by a chemical spillage at a germ warfare factory somewhere off the Deptford High Street.

Trigger:
[Oblivious to Boycie's insult] Maybe. But I still feel proud. [Del laughs to himself and puts his cup down as Boycie rolls his eyes and stares out the window]

Rodney:
So, what exactly is the award for?

Trigger:
For saving the council money. I happened to mention to her one day that I've had the same broom for the last twenty years. She was very impressed and said, "Have a medal". [Looks at the photograph again] Twenty years. It's a long time, Dave.

Rodney:
Yeah, well, it's two decades, innit?

Trigger:
[as Sid comes over with orders] Well I wouldn't go that far, but it's a long time. [Rodney stares at him whilst drinking]

Del:
[Confused] Jer, Trig, jus-just a sec. [As Sid puts the orders down and sits on the table behind him to listen to the conversation] If you've had that broom for the last twenty years, have you actually swept any roads with it?!

Trigger:
[Hurt] Well, of course! But I look after it well. We have an old saying that's been handed down by generations of road sweepers: "Look after your broom".

Rodney:
"And your broom will look after you".

Trigger:
No, Dave. It's just "Look after your broom".

Rodney:
[Looks at Del and Boycie, who look away and shake heads] Oh, yeah, that old saying.

Trigger:
Yeah. And that's what I done. Maintained it for 20 years. [Leans over, picks his broom up so Del, Rodney and Boycie can see. It is very clean.] This old broom has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles in its time. [Rodney frowns. Boycie rolls his eyes. Del starts muttering to himself, as though he's counting.]

Sid:
How the hell can it be the same bloody broom then?

Trigger:
[Shows Sid the picture] Well, here’s a picture of it! What more proof do you need?