Orange Is the New Black, Season 3

Joe Caputo:
Now, what'd you hear?

Berdie Rogers:
That you got caught in a shit-storm, but you put up a sturdy umbrella.

Joe Caputo:
Yeah, well, it's starting to leak. Now I'm doing Madame Shit-Storm's job, along with doing my old job, which the powers-that-be have yet to fill.[sighs] I'm doin' two jobs.

Berdie Rogers:
Do you resent that the administration hired me before finding a replacement for your old job?

Joe Caputo:
Are you analyzin' me?

Berdie Rogers:
No. I just don't want any shade without having been given a shot.

Joe Caputo:
My beef's not with you.

Berdie Rogers:
What'd you hear about me?

Joe Caputo:
That you're smart and you're qualified and you said yes.

Berdie Rogers:
Does my saying yes maybe cancel out the smart part?

Joe Caputo:
How's this? Welcome to Litchfield, where your services are needed in both the counseling and hair removal arenas. These are complicated ladies in a complicated place.