Orange Is the New Black, Season 3

Alex Vause:
[watching Piper climb up her bunk] Need a little help there?

Piper Chapman:
Nope. I've got it, thank you. I called you my girlfriend.

Alex Vause:
What? To who?

Piper Chapman:
To my parents, and my brother, and my brother's wife.

Alex Vause:
[lets out a long exhale] That's a bold move, Chapman.

Piper Chapman:
I know. I didn't even mean to say it, but it just... It just came out. And now... Now I can't stop thinking about it.

Alex Vause:
[sarcastically] Do you wanna pass me a note and have me circle yes or no?

Piper Chapman:
[embarrassed] I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend...

Alex Vause:
Oh no?

Piper Chapman:
No, definitely not! I just thought... I thought that it was weird.

Alex Vause:
Totally weird. [pauses] You know, the Quran is turning out to be more interesting than I would've guessed. Technically, I'm not supposed to be touching it, but I did wash my hands. So, I decided that Allah would be cool with it.

Piper Chapman:
Will you be my girlfriend?

Alex Vause:
[bursts out laughing] Yeah.

Piper Chapman:
Yes!?

Alex Vause:
Yes, you idiot!

Piper Chapman:
[to the rest of the cell] She said yes.

[cut to reveal that only Anita and Sister Jane are in the cell, looking obviously disinterested]

Anita DeMarco:
Good for you, hun.

Sister Jane Ingalls:
Mazel tov.