Parks and Recreation, Season 6

Ron:
That's your will? You need that many pages to say "Give my stuff to my wife"?

Ben:
It's a complicated legal document.

Ron:
It doesn't have to be. [pulls a piece of paper from wallet] I've had the same will since I was eight years old.

Ben:
[reading it] "Upon my death, all my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?

Ron:
The man who kills me will know.

Ben:
Ok, you should really have a will that's more than one sentence long. You have a wife and kids now. I could introduce you to our lawyer.

Ron:
The three most useless jobs in the world are, in order, lawyer, congressman and doctor. Pass.

Ben:
Ron, that document is nothing, it's not even notarized. You know, if you die and you don't have a real will, most of what you own will go to the government.

Ron:
[pause] Where is this lawyer you speak of?