Peep Show, Series 5

[Mark is making a list of everything that Jez can consume.]

Mark:
Toilet paper, OK. Soap, OK. But not shower gel. And no razors. If you're poor, grow a beard. Tea Bags are allowed within limits.

Jez:
Limits? What Limits?

Mark:
No making a pie out of tea or anything weird.

Jez:
Look Mark, lay off, will you? The thing is... and, I keep meaning to tell you this, but, basically, a few years ago, mummy gave me a nest egg, and I kept on meaning to... invest, but it turns out, I've spent it.

Mark:
You ate your nest egg? You're meant to sit on your nest egg 'til it hatches, not eat it like some greedy mad chicken. Well, the solution's obvious: get a job!

Jez:
Yeah, fine, whatever, but it's difficult, you know? There just aren't that many media positions out there. That's the reality.

Mark:
So? Do something else. Get on your bike.

Jez:
I can't believe you're trying to make me get a job not in the media. You're such a bastard.

Mark:
You have to pay rent, Jeremy, that needs to happen.

[Jez takes a sausage from Mark's plate]

Mark:
Put the sausage back! I'm deadly serious! Y-you never pay any rent - if you start stealing from me as well, that's it, you'll have to move out. This is the final straw!

[Jez eats the sausage anyway]

Jez:
(Mmm... Delicious Cumberland final straw, dripping in onion gravy.)