Red Dwarf, Series I

Todhunter:
Mutiny, Lister?

Lister:
I stood on his toe.

Rimmer:
Maliciously, and with intent to wound.

Lister:
It was an accident!

Rimmer:
Lister, I put it to you, how is it possible to stand on one small toe by accident? You didn't stand on my toe at all, you stood on my entire foot, thereby obstructing a superior technician in pursuit of vital duty.

Lister:
But the vital duty was that he was going to snap my guitar in half!

Rimmer:
Whereupon you leapt from the top bunk onto the whole of my right foot.

Todhunter:
Alright, that's enough.

Rimmer:
Had there been a crisis situation, Lister, I would have had to perform my duties hopping, clearly putting the ship at risk, clearly therefore mutiny.

Todhunter:
Finished?

Rimmer:
However, I am not a vindictive man, so I don't intend to apply for the death penalty.