Red vs. Blue, Season 1

Simmons:
Hey, that's not exactly what happened.

Grif:
Yes, it is. You said, "I'm not going to the Vegas Quadrant", and then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod heading for—

Donut:
(interrupting) Excuse me uh, sirs...?

Grif:
"Sirs"? Oh crap.

Donut:
I was told to report to Blood Gulch outpost number one and speak to whoever's in charge.

Grif:
Sorry, man, Sarge is at command getting orders; ain't nobody in charge today.

Simmons:
Actually, Private, he left me in charge while he's gone.

Grif:
You are such a kiss-ass.

Simmons:
Also, he told me that if I had any trouble from you I should, [clears throat] [mimicking Sarge] "Get in the Warthog and crush your head like a tomato can."

Grif:
...That's the worst impression I've ever heard.

Simmons:
Okay, Rookie, what's your story?

Donut:
Private Donut reporting for duty, sir! Ready to fight some aliens.

Grif:
Couple of things here, Rookie. First off, "Private Donut"? I think somebody needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?

Donut:
This is the standard issue red.

Grif:
Yeah, I know. Listen, only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor: officers and recruits, and since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer.

Donut:
[referring to Simmons] Well, he's wearing red armor.

Simmons:
No. My armor is maroon. Your armor is red.

Donut:
Well, how do I get a different color armor?

Simmons:
I bet the Blues don't have to put up with this kind of crap.