Red vs. Blue, Season 1

[Grif starts backing up, then turns around and starts running towards the jeep]

Simmons:
One...

Sheila:
(aims towards Grif) Target acquired.

Grif:
(panting) Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

Simmons:
Two...

Sheila:
(locks onto Grif) Target locked.

[cut to Church also running towards jeep]

Simmons:
Three! [Simmons turns around and sees that Grif left without him] Oh, you back-stabbing cockbite!

Sheila:
Firing main cannon.

[the jeep blows up]

Simmons:
Son of a bitch!

Grif:
SON OF A BITCH!!

Church:
Son of a bitch!!

[Sheila begins shooting at Simmons and Grif]

Sheila:
Firing main cannon.

Simmons:
Shit!

Sheila:
Firing main cannon. Firing main cannon.

Tucker:
[as Church arrives back at rock] Hey dude, the jeep blew up.

Church:
No kidding. Thanks for the update, Tucker!

[Grif and Simmons are hiding behind a rock while the tank is shooting]

Simmons:
(sarcastically) Hey! I have a great idea. Let's get out of the jeep and sneak around the side of the rock! Great plan you idiot!

Sheila:
All targets eliminated. Acquiring new targets.

[Church steps out from behind the rock he and Tucker are hiding behind]

Church:
Hey, Tucker! Look at this, man! It's the rookie! And he brought the tank out to scare off the Reds.

Tucker:
What? No way.

Church:
(yelling to Caboose) Hey rookie! Good job, man! Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?

Sheila:
[main cannon focuses on Church] New target acquired.

Caboose:
That's not a target. That's Church!

Church:
Yeah that's right, it's me, Church! What's going on, man?

Sheila:
Target locked.

Caboose:
What? No! Target unlock! Unlock!! Please help me nice lady!

Sheila:
Firing main cannon.

Caboose:
Uh-oh...

Tucker:
Uh-oh...

Church:
What? Oh... son of a bi—

[Sheila fires and Church goes flying]

Tucker:
Holy fuck! Church, are you okay? Talk to me! Church! (yells to Caboose) You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard!

Sheila:
Auto-fire sequence deactivated.

Church:
(gasping) Tucker! T-Tucker!

Tucker:
Church! It's going to be okay, man.

Church:
No... I-I'm no— I'm not gonna make it. Tucker, there's something I need to tell you.

Tucker:
(incredulously) What is it?

Church:
I just want you to know... I always hated you. I always hated you the most.

Tucker:
Yeah, I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick.

Church:
Okay. Herrkkk... blaahh.