Red vs. Blue, Season 4

Simmons:
Hey Blues! Uhp, I mean, blue, we're only gonna give you one chance to surrender.

Church:
Wha, why would I—[Sheila fires her cannon.] Hey, hold on a second, Sheila. Why would I Surrender?

[The Reds hide behind the rock and whisper something involving the word "sandwich".]

Simmons:
Uh, because you're outnumbered.

Church:
Bullshit, dude, I got a tank! People with tanks are never outnumbered!

[The Reds whisper again.]

Simmons:
We also think that it's your turn to surrender.

Church:
WHAT!?

Simmons:
Well, if you recall, first you surrendered and you gave us Doc, then we surrendered and we gave you the jeep so that means—

Church:
Sheila, shut him up.

[Sheila fires her cannon against the rock.]

Simmons:
(quickly ducks behind rock) SON OF A BITCH!!!

Donut:
Is that a no?!

Church:
Okay, guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing girlfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who thinks his pet just died, AND our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised at our base right now. So I really, really, REALLY don't have time for this horse-shit right now!

[An akward silence ensues.]

Grif:
...Uh, what was that part about the pregnant guy?

Church:
HE'S NOT PREGNANT! That's impossible.

Andy:
Yeah, unless the Alien impregnated him. That's what they do; they infect the host with a parasitic embryo. But you already knew that, right?

Church:
What? NO! Why didn't you tell us that could happen?!

Andy:
Uhhh...I mean...uhhh—Alien baby?! Uh, that's shocking! I am just as shocked... as you are.

[Caboose contacts Church through the radio.]

Caboose:
Come in, Church. Come in.

Church:
Caboose, what did I tell you man?! You're not supposed to use the radio while O'Malley's here! Oh great. Now I'm on the radio too.

Caboose:
Oh that—that's what I'm calling to tell you. Um, the Reds already used their radio and...O'Malley is gone.

Church:
(aggrivated) Oh my God.

Sarge:
That's right, Blue! We've called in the cavalry! As we speak, the glorious Red Command is sending a ship to aid us! No doubt it's a battle cruiser of the highest magnitude! It's time to end this thing once and for all!

[Back at Blue base, Tucker is grunting as Doc tends to him.]

Doc:
Congratulations, it's a...thing? Eugh.

Alien Baby:
Honk honk, HONK! HONNNNK!

Church:
What. Was that.

Caboose:
Oh, well that's the other thing I called about. Um...Tucker had his gross baby.

Tucker:
It's not mine!

Church:
(about to lose it) He is not PREGNANT!