Regular Show, Season 6

[Mordecai calls his dad, William, in his home office a little later]

William:
[drinking his coffee as his phone rings and answers] Well, if it isn't my favorite and only son.

Mordecai:
Uh, hey, Dad. I'm thinking about coming by the house with my girlfriend so I can grab one of my old mix tapes.

William:
Girlfriend, eh? I'm sure your mom will love that.

Mordecai:
That's kind of the problem. She gets weird when I bring girls home. It's embarrassing.

William:
Wait. You've brought girls home? How many times? Was it zero times? Anyway, I know Mom can go overboard sometimes, but I'm not sure what you want me to do about that.

Mordecai:
Just… Is there a time I can come by when Mom won't be home?

William:
Well, she does have Puncher-cise tomorrow night, but--

Mordecai:
Look, I know it's messed up, but please don't tell her we're coming.

William:
Uhp, uhp! I can't lie to that woman. Haven't in 25 years. Except if she asks if she could still pass as a college student. Then you lie. Otherwise, no lies!

Mordecai:
Just don't tell her!

[The next day, Mordecai and C.J. arrive at Mordecai's family house]

Mordecai:
Dad, I'm here!

William:
[happily] Ah, there's my boy!

[They share a hug]

Mordecai:
Hi, Dad.

William:
And you must be C.J. I'm William.

C.J.:
[shakes hands with him; honored] Nice to meet you, sir.

William:
Please, call me Will. "Sir" is my boss's name. Unfortunately, Mordecai's mom isn't around at the moment.

Mordecai:
Mom's not here?! Darn it! Life's so unfair! Oh, well. Next time or whatever. Anyway, I'm just gonna run up and grab that tape so we can--

Hilary:
[kicks the front door open, startling Mordecai, and enters the house] Where's my little champion?

Mordecai:
Mom! [as Hilary runs up and hugs him; strained] You're home!

Hilary:
Of course I am. You don't think I'd miss my handsome gent coming home, do you? And when your dad told me you were bringing a new sweetie over, I decided to take the afternoon Punchercise class so I could run right home to see you two.

[Mordecai glares annoyingly at his father]

William:
[shrugs] 25 years, no lies.

Hilary:
[meeting C.J.] And you, wow! Gorgeous!

C.J.:
Yep. I'm smart and funny, too.

Hilary:
And modest. She's the whole package.