Rick and Morty, Season 1

[Morty sees Morty Jr. turned into monster in the living room]

Morty:
Morty Jr.! Smoking?! That is not okay!

Morty Jr.:
What are you gonna do, ground me?! I can't go outside anyway!

Morty:
So what?! Y-Y-You could do things inside! Y-You could play guitar, you could masturbate!

Morty Jr.:
I don't wanna masturbate! I wanna conquer the planet!

Morty:
Oh, here we go again! Y-Y'know, who do you think is gonna love you if you conquer the planet, Morty Jr.?!

Morty Jr.:
Love... that's all you care about! What about weapons?! What about domination of the enemy?!

Morty:
All right, that's it! No more History Channel! This TV is for cartoons and video games only!

Morty Jr.:
I hate video games!!

Morty:
You take that back!! [they fight over the remote] Give it to me!! [pushes Morty Jr.] I-I-I-I— I didn't mean— I didn't mean that! I didn't mean to do that! I'm sorry!

Morty Jr.:
[runs to the door] I can't take this anymore!! I'd rather breathe poison than live another minute with you!!

Morty:
No! No, no, no! Stop!!

[Morty Jr. nudges Morty back and walks out of the house. He takes a deep breath and holds it in; he pauses for a beat]

Morty Jr.:
My life has been a lie! God is dead! The government's lame! [runs into the street] Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus wasn't born on Christmas! They moved the date, it was a pagan holiday!