Rick and Morty, Season 2

Ricks:
So, in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy, hysterical bird-brain homunculi. And I honestly can't even tell the two of you apart half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass—which makes you both identical. All right, everything resolved? Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world?

Mortys/Summers:
Yes.

Ricks:
All right, perfect. Sit still, arr-arms down. I'm gonna do this again. This time, be like Grandpa.

Morty 2:
You mean drunk?

Rick 2/Rick 1:
What's that? You got something to say? / And awaaay we go!

Morty 2:
No.

Rick 2:
And awaaay we go! [presses his button but no response] Huh, that's weird.

Rick 1:
Huh, that's weird. [keeps pressing to no avail] Oh my God.

Summer 1/Rick 2:
What? / Oh my God.

Summer 2/Rick 1:
What? / The sonofabitch is gonna kill me!

Morty 1/Summer 1/Rick 2:
What?! / The sonofabitch is gonna kill me!

Morty 2/Summer 2:
What?! [both Ricks tinker time-device]

Rick 1:
Diabolical, unfeeling sociopath! Don't you get it?! Don't you get it?!

Rick 2:
Don't you get it?! The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore!

Ricks:
He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me! He probably figures it's ehh-easier to eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them! [chuckling] I have to admit, it's always in the back of my mind too. The difference is I would never do it! Until now.

Mortys:
Rick, what the hell are you doing?!

Ricks:
Saving our lives! After he takes me out, he's g-g— he's gonna be coming for you!

Summers:
Who?!

Ricks:
Me! [Rick 1 shoots first before Rick 2 does; Morty and Summer 2 scream]

Rick 2:
You see that?! Get down! [shoots upwards at Rick 1]

Rick 1:
I told you! He's a psycho!

Rick 2:
He's lost it! Th-th-th-the time fracture must've made him crazy!

Rick 1/Summer 2:
I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do! / Oh, crap!

[the two possibilities then gradually split into four; all Ricks look at their monitors with four dots]

Ricks:
Oh, God, now there's three of 'em! We're outnumbered! Get in the cupboards! [all Mortys and Summers do so] Wait, do-don't do that! They'll know! Wa-wait— Think about getting in the cupboards, but don't really! [all Ricks shoot their cupboards] URAAAHHHH!!!! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT, YOU SICK (Bleep)?!! YOU WANT TO SEE CHILDREN DIE?!!