Rick and Morty, Season 2

[Rick shoots Uncle Steve in the head with his laser gun; everyone freaks out]

Morty:
What the hell, Rick?! What the hell?!

Rick:
Would everybody just relax for a second? There's no such thing as an "Uncle Steve". That is an alien parasite.

[Steve's body morphs into a horrifying-looking alien, spraying magenta enzymes out of its mouth tentacles at Jerry. Summer and Beth gasp]

Jerry:
But I've known him my whole life!

Rick:
No, you haven't, Jerry! [lifts it onto the table] These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories and th-th-they use those to multiply and spread out, take over planets. It's-it's disgusting.

Morty:
Steve wasn't real?!

Rick:
He's a real piece of shit! This is a big one. [drops it] Somebody probably tracked it in last week on the bottom of their shoe or on a piece of alien fruit.

Summer:
Someone?

Rick:
Get off the high road, Summer! We all got pinkeye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.

Morty:
But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike!

Rick:
No, "Steve" put that memory in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food and multiply. We could be infested with these things. [burps, unloads laser clip] So, we got to keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up.

Mr. Poopybutthole:
Oooohwee! Whatever you want, Rick, we're here to help!

Rick:
Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you.