Robot Chicken, Season 1

Gary the Nerd:
[sitting in front of his computer in his room] If I own enough noobs, I can raise my rank in the server from 3 to 1. Hee-hee!

Radio DJ:
Be our 99th caller right now to be a winner in our Mission: Impossible III contest!

Gary the Nerd:
Ooh, ooh! [grabs his phone and speed dials the number to the radio station]

Radio DJ:
[answers phone] Hello! You're our 99th caller!

Gary the Nerd:
Excellent!

Radio DJ:
You win your choice of a GameBoy Advance or a date with M:I III star, Scarlett Johansson!

Gary the Nerd:
[shaking nervously] Can I have both?

Radio DJ:
No.

Gary the Nerd:
Do I have to choose right now?

Radio DJ:
Yes.

Gary the Nerd:
[makes drawn-out moans as he makes up his mind for several seconds] I guess I choose Scarlett Johansson.

[Cuts to the scene to outside food stand. Gary is standing in a white tuxedo as he anxiously waits for Scarlett Johansson's arrival. A limo pulls up to the stand. Cut to Scarlett and her manager inside the limo]

Scarlett Johansson:
[to her manager] Look, can I just roll down the window and shake his hand?

Manager:
No, the contest specifies lunch.

Scarlett Johansson:
[to her dismay] Crap in a hat.

[Scarlett and Gary are shown sitting at one of the tables at the stand. Scarlett looks very disinterested as Gary attempts to break the awkward silence between them]

Gary the Nerd:
So, do you ever play "The Sims"? [spit flies out of Gary's mouth and lands in Scarlett's face, which she wipes off with a napkin] I made a Scarlett Johansson Sim and she lived in my house and sometimes we went in the hot tub together, [Scarlett face-palms out of annoyance] but I forgot to buy a fire extinguisher. So there was a grease fire in the kitchen and Scarlett died.

Scarlett Johansson:
[in a bored and uninterested tone] Mm-hmm...

[Two armed men wearing black from top to bottom suddenly appear out of nowhere to hassle the couple]

Burglar 1:
Give us all your money!

Gary the Nerd:
[surprised] Ah! [jumps to his feet] Leave us alone, you hooligans! Hi-yah! [starts doing karate moves in front of the two burglars]

Burglar 1:
He fights like a tiger!

Burglar 2:
Let's get out of here! [they flee behind the food stand. Scarlett is awestruck at what she witnessed. Behind the stand, it turns out the burglars are Gary's friends who helped stage the scenario] That was so stellar!

Burglar 1:
Gary's totally gonna score now!

[They attempt to high-five, but Burglar 1 misses and falls forward]

Scarlett Johansson:
You..You saved me! You're my hero!

[Gary lets out a lovesick sigh. A montage begins to play. Scarlett and Gary are skipping hand and hand on the beach together. Then the two are seen playing out a scene in Star Trek. The scene cuts to a Star Trek themed marriage of Gary and Scarlett, with a Klingon acting as the minister]

Klingon:
Do you take this be'hon to be your be'nal?

Gary the Nerd:
Hi'lah!

[Both Gary and Scarlett kiss after the exchange of vowels. The montage continues with the arrival of their first child as well as the two fighting off a giant spider. The scene jumps to many years later, when Gary is on his deathbed with Scarlett at his side]

Gary the Nerd:
Scarlett, my love...there's something I must tell you before I die.

Scarlett Johansson:
What is it, my love?

Gary the Nerd:
I staged the whole fight on our first date. I won your heart under false pretenses.

Scarlett Johansson:
[gasps and then lets out a sigh of relief] Oh, thank god! I have something to tell you, too. I'm not really Scarlett Johansson! I was just a professional Scarlett Johansson impersonator! [clears her throat. Her voice changed into a man's voice] My real name is Raymond DeBonatello from Queens, New York.

Gary the Nerd:
[gasps in shock as he looks at the camera] That explains why Scarlett Johansson had a...giant Johansson! [spasms for a second and dies. The EKG flatlines]

Raymond DeBonatello:
[sobbing] Go in peace, my angel!

[A message appears at the bottom of the screen, reading:
"For your Emmy consideration- Robot Chicken"]