Robot Chicken, Season 4
[Christmas in Asgard]
Thor:
The reward for Thor's good deeds; a shiny bicycle.
Loki:
[sees a lump a coal from his stocking] Augh! A lump of coal?!
Odin:
[laughs] I love my son Thor and not my son Loki. And Santa agrees. [grabs his goblet] Ha ha! My parenting is most inequitable.
Thor:
[on his bicycle] I am off to the rainbow bridge to offer rides to the shirtless muscular warriors who there congregate. [rides off]
Loki:
Ah, next Christmas, victory shall belong to Loki, God of Mischief. [laughs evilly. He is seen at the store as he puts on the fake Thor helmet with a blond wig; chuckles as he grabs a soda] I'm Thor, and I'm very thirsty! [gulping] Ahhh! [the sign behind him says "NO REFILLS"] No one minds if I get another. [gets another refill. He is next seen, humming as he urinates two guys in the bathroom, much to their disgust] I'm Thor. I got great aim 'cause I'm the God of Thunder.
[Loki is seen in the elevator]
Old Lady:
Hold the door!
Loki:
[holding the doors open] Oh, don't worry, I got it. Hi, nice to meet you. Thor, God of Thunder. By the way, eat this! [shoots the lady dead with his gun] Ha ha!
[The Following Christmas]
[Loki laughs while riding the bicycle as the shocked and confused Thor holds a lump of coal]
Odin:
[spits] By my own beard! Is it Christmas Day or opposite day?! [looks at the calendar] Nay, it "is" Christmas day!
Thor:
I have been good! I have! Santa Claus shall taste the Thunder God's wrath! [flies to the North Pole as Loki snickered silently]
[At the North Pole]
Santa Claus:
[sees the elves' dead bodies on the floor] Good God!
Thor:
[appears behind the door] But not good enough for ye, eh?! Have at thee!
[Thor begins attacking Santa by whacking him with his hammer called Mjollnir. He was about to hit the stomach, but Santa gained upper hand, attacking him with his candy cane. He shoots candy canes at Thor, who blocks them with his Mjollnir. Mrs. Claus runs around screaming. Thor swings at Santa, who dodges and pushes him onto the table. Santa is about to hit him, but Thor gained upper hand by smashing Santa onto the table a few times, before knocking him down on the floor. He is about to finish him off, but he swung his Mjollnir backwards and accidentally hit and killed Mrs. Claus who kept running and screaming, much to his surprise. He pulled his Mjollnir out of her smashed and blooded face, and noticed the fake Santa's naughty list on the floor]
Thor:
[picks the list up and reads it] Thor did none of this! Why would a Thunder God refill his soda even after his thirst was slaked? Or urinate hither and yon? Or murder an old woman? [pause as he sees Mrs. Claus' dead body] Well, I dideth, not the other two! I smell my brother's deceitful hand in this. [picks up Santa] Rise, noble Claus. Thou was fooled as was I. Loki's villainy must be revealed. [grabs is Mjollnir, takes Santa, and flies back to Asgard]
[Back in Asgard. Loki shoots and kills people while riding a bicycle]
Loki:
Whoo! I'm Thor as hell!
[Thor and Santa arrive]
Santa Claus:
He's a madman! Stop him!
Thor:
Fear not, Santa Claus. You yourself shall make Loki pay, a year hence when you bring him a lump of coal on Christmas Day. [to the camera] Merry Christmas, everyone!
Loki:
God of Thunder! [shoots bullets in the air]
Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024
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"Robot Chicken, Season 4 Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/show-quote/167446>.
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