Roseanne, Season 5

Principal Cecil Alexander:
I want you to know we're usually very happy with D.J. He's a hard worker, listens well in class, although this new dressing-up phase does concern us a little.

Dan:
Kids.

Cecil:
Well, we don't discourage unorthodox dress here. We do discourage, however, students from bringing certain types of reading material to school.

Dan:
[thinking the principal is talking about one of his Playboys] I understand, Cecil. Something that might be perfectly normal and acceptable for adults wouldn't be okay for kids to bring to school.

Cecil:
I'm sorry, but the filth that D.J. was reading couldn't possibly be considered okay anywhere. It's the most offensively sick piece of garbage I've ever seen.

Dan:
[still thinking the principal is referring to a Playboy issue] Didn't you read the articles?

Cecil:
[hands the book to Dan] I didn't see any articles in this.

Dan:
It's a comic book. D.J., you brought a comic book to school. Good boy!

Cecil:
I can see I should've spoken to his mother.

Dan:
[leafing through the comic] Well, look, I...I know it's wrong for kids to bring comics to school and read 'em in class, but hey, they're kids. I know it's not great literature...[turns a page] My God, what kind of diseased mind could create something like this?!

Cecil:
It's obviously some sort of cheap underground thing.

Dan:
Oh, man. Hey, I don't know where D.J. got this, but you can be sure we don't allow things like this in our house. This is not the way we raise our children. [to D.J.] Where did you get this?

D.J.:
Darlene made it.