Roseanne, Season 5

D.J.:
"Gather round, ye citizens of Lanford, and hear the tale of the founding of your town. Many years ago, Vikings came to America and discovered Lanford, but it was already one of the thirteen colonies. So Abraham Lincoln sent them home. He freed the Vikings. And then the Indians came with Geronimo and..."

Roseanne:
Hey, hey, hold it. Where did you come up with all this stuff?

D.J.:
Darlene told me.

Roseanne:
[to Darlene] Hey, I'm surprised you left out the part where Moses led his people out of Lanford. [to D.J.] Never believe anything Darlene tells you.

Darlene:
Except what I told you about sex. That was all true.

Roseanne:
[to D.J.] I want you to go to the library and look up the real story about the founding of Lanford, OK? Go to where we check out the videos and ask where the books are.

D.J.:
Okay, but I'm looking up the sex thing too, so be ready!