Rugrats, Season 2

[Tommy dribbles the ball. A strange baby is playing with a school bus and sees Tommy]

Wiseguy:
Psst! [Tommy hears him and looks around] Over here.

Tommy:
You talking to me?

Wiseguy:
Shh! You don't want them screws to hear, do ya?

Tommy:
Screws?

Wiseguy:
You know, grownups.

Tommy:
Oh.

Wiseguy:
You new around here, ain't ya? Everybody around here calls me Wiseguy on account of I know everything what's going on.

Tommy:
Hi, Wiseguy, my name's Tommy Pickles.

Wiseguy:
Sure, sure. Listen, if you're gonna make it in this place, you gotta know what's what.

Tommy:
What?

Wiseguy:
Right, You see that kid over there? [A big chubby baby walks over to another baby in blue pajamas suckling on a bottle] That's Big Justin. He's kinda the boss around here on account of he's the biggest. [Big Justin takes the bottle apart from the other baby and suckles on it] You see that girl over there? [points at a girl building wooden blocks] They call her the Builder on account of she's always playing with blocks. And look over there. [The screen pans to a baby playing with red Play-Doh and yellow bits of clay all over him. He sculpts the Play-Doh into a pit bull] They call him Doughboy. He can make anything out of Play-Doh.

[Doughboy sculpts the Play-Doh into a cat. Suddenly, Tommy and Wiseguy hear a baby crying very loud. A shot of inside his mouth is shown as Sandra and Jonathan arrive]

Tommy:
What's wrong with that kid?

Wiseguy:
Oh, don't worry about him; he's faking it.

Tommy:
Faking it?

Wiseguy:
Yep, that's Crybaby. [Sandra and Jonathan try to calm Crybaby down] He can make himself cry even when nothing's bothering him.

[As Sandra and Jonathan turn away, Crybaby stops crying and grins for a moment, but resumes back to crying as Sandra and Jonathan take out a rattle and stuffed teddy bear]

Big Justin:
Hey. [Tommy and Wiseguy turn to Justin] Who's the new kid?

Wiseguy:
[stammers nervously] Oh, hi, Justin. This here is Tommy Pickles.

[Tommy grins at Justin]

Big Justin:
Nice ball, kid. Give it to me.

Tommy:
[pulls it away] No!

[All the babies stop playing and turn seeing this]

Big Justin:
What'd you say, kid?

Tommy:
It's my ball, you can't have it!

Big Justin:
Look, you're new around here, and maybe nobody warned ya, I'm Big Justin and I run this place. [pulls his suspenders in a snap] Now, GIVE ME THE BALL! [grabs the ball]

Tommy:
[pulls it back] NO!!

Big Justin:
I said GIVE IT TO ME!!!

[Big Justin and Tommy get caught in a tug-o-war with the ball. Wiseguy and Crybaby watch this in shock]

Crybaby:
[holds a cookie] Betcha a cookie Justin gets the ball.

Wiseguy:
[gives Crybaby another] You're on.

[Big Justin and Tommy continue fighting over the ball until Tommy lets the ball slip out of his fingers and ends up falling into a wagon, which rolls across the room, knocks over Builder's block structure, crushes Doughboy's clay cat sculpture and rams into a wall. Tommy sees Doughboy stare at what just happened]

Tommy:
[gasps] I'm sorry.

Doughboy:
[tears well up and bawls] AAUUGGHH!!

[Sandra comes in and sees what just happened. She is accompanied by Jonathan and Bob]

Jonathan:
Diagnosis?

Sandra:
Destructive overreaction syndrome. Procedure?

Jonathan:
Positive reinforcement denial?

Sandra:
[shakes her head] Uh-uh.

Jonathan:
Withdrawal of snack gratification?

Sandra:
Uh-uh.

Bob:
[takes out a fresh diaper] Fresh change of diapers?

Sandra:
No. [points at Tommy, echoes] Time out.

[The babies gasp in shock one by one]

Wiseguy:
They're gonna give him the pen!

[A single pen is shown by the corner of the room. Sandra rushes Tommy to the pen with Jonathan and Bob following]

Bob:
I yet say a nice change of diapers might cheer the little fella up!

Jonathan:
How long?

Sandra:
[holds five fingers] Five minutes.

Jonathan:
Five minutes?! Don't you think that's a bit...harsh?

Sandra:
[sternly] Do it.

[Jonathan does so. The timer is heard ticking as Tommy goes hesitantly silent]

Builder:
Woah, five minutes!

Doughboy:
These screws just keep getting meaner and meaner.

[Tommy lowly lays silent in the pen as he watches the cat clock on the wall. Tommy sees a toy jug and strides it along the wooden bars of the pen]

Sandra:
[confiscates the jug] No, no, Tommy. [grins] Noise-making is not part of... [echoes] ...time out.