Sam & Cat

State regulator:
You Blue Dog Soda punks are in serious trouble!

Sam:
Why?

State regulator:
Why?!

Sam:
What's your problem?

Cat:
Yeah, what's wrong with making a tasty soda that everybody loves?

Dice:
Which we wouldn't have had to do if you hadn't banned Blue Dog Soda in the first place!

Goomer:
Has anybody seen the butt-scratcher?

Cat:
What's your problem with Blue Dog?

State regulator:
My problem is that some people drink too much of it and that's not healthy.

Sam:
So? Some people eat too many sandwiches; you gonna ban sandwiches?

Cat:
Oh, and roller coasters! What if a kid decided to ride roller coasters all day long everyday? He'd flunk out of school!

Dice:
You gonna ban roller coasters?

Sam:
And what about sleeping? I mean, if a person sleeps way too long, they're gonna wake up in a pile of their own poop.

Cat:
You gonna ban sleeping?

Goomer:
And pooping?

Dice:
And what about hugs?

Sam:
Right!

Dice:
If you hug someone real tight for too long, you could kill 'em.

Goomer:
That is true.

Sam:
So, maybe you should ban hugging.

Dice:
Why don't you just ban everything?

Cat:
Yeah! Because too much of anything could be bad for you, but it's not fair to punish everybody.

Sam:
Just 'cause some people can't control themselves.

Goomer:
Don't you think people oughta be free to choose?

Cat:
This is America.

Dice:
The 7th-smartest country in the world.

Sam:
And we don't need people like you telling everybody what we can and can't do.

[the audience cheers. The State Regulator sits down, crying]

Mitch:
Dad, what's wrong?

State regulator:
They're right! I'm so stupid!