South Park, Season 12

South Park (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Color… more »

Kyle:
Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Johnson. We were hoping that maybe you have some kind of key that can help us with our disease.

Magic:
You boys both have the virus? Are you sure?

Cartman:
We're not just sure, we're HIV-positive.

Kyle:
Will you stop it with that?! What part of this is funny to you?

Cartman:
Kyle, we need to try and find a--

Kyle:
What part of being infected with a deadly disease do you find funny?

Cartman:
I don't think it's funny, Kyle.

Kyle:
Then stop saying that you're not just sure, you're HIV-positive! This isn't funny, AIDS isn't funny, dying isn't funny, so shut the fuck up!

Cartman:
Well, excuse me, Kyle, for trying to keep some optimism, you know? I mean, sometimes when things seem their darkest you just need to try and stay..... HIV-positive, but if you wanna be so HIV-negative all the time, I--

Kyle:
Knock it off! Right now! This isn't funny! At all!

Cartman:
[pause] Are you sure?

Kyle:
YES!

Cartman:
[longer pause] Are you HIV-positive? [Kyle punches him in the face] Ow! Fuck, Kyle!

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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