South Park, Season 14

[Specialists are sorting out Stan's hoarding problem. Everyone is assembled at Stan's locker]

Dr. Chinstrap:
Hello, everyone, my name is Dr. Chinstrap. I'm a hoarding specialist, and today, we're gonna help Stan clean out his locker. All right, let's go ahead and see inside your locker, Stan.

[Stan opens his locker, which is quite stuffed. There are gasps of shock all around, and Wendy starts crying]

Stan:
What? Come on, it's not that bad.

Dr. Chinstrap:
Now, as part of Stan's therapy, we need to make sure we don't throw away anything he doesn't want us to. Stan needs to feel like HE is in control, or his psychosis will come out.

Stan:
"My psychosis?" Look, it isn't that big of a deal, I'll just throw this stuff away.

Dr. Chinstrap:
Okay, great. Now how about we start with this... [takes out a pencil box]

Stan:
Well, no, that's my pencil box. I need my pencil box.

Dr. Chinstrap:
Okay, okay, we'll put that right here on the floor. [places box down and takes out a broken toothbrush] Now, how about this? Broken toothbrush?

Stan:
Well, it's good to have that, because sometimes I really wanna brush after lunch, and I...

Dr. Chinstrap:
But it's broken.

Stan:
Yeah, but it works perfectly fine, and it...

Dr. Chinstrap:
Okay, okay, broken toothbrush is going right here, by the pencil box. [places it down and takes out a maggot-infested sandwich] Now, how about this? Old sandwich in a baggie, filled with maggots? [there are groans of disgust from all those present]

Stan:
[faltering slightly] Well, THAT, I mean, yeah, I mean, I kinda need that, let's just keep that.

Dr. Chinstrap:
It's full of maggots, Stan. Can we throw it away?

Stan:
[faltering further] Well I might need it if I ever have to, you know, like...

Dr. Chinstrap:
The maggots are crawling down my hand and biting my wrist, Stan. Can we throw this away?

Stan:
[starting to lose his nerve] Well, I - I guess so but... [as the sandwich is thrown in the baggie] W-w-wait, this is all happening a little fast, can we just slow down?

[Stan's friends share a look of concern]

Dr. Chinstrap:
[Taking an empty aspirin bottle] Now how about this empty aspirin bottle?

Stan:
Well no, don't throw that out!

Dr. Chinstrap:
[reaching into the locker] Can we throw out these watered out papers, then? [pulls them out]

Stan:
[really losing his composure] No, because there could be something written on them that's important and... [gathering some papers up and trying to retrieve the bottle] No, don't take my empty bottle... G-GIVE ME BACK MY SANDWICH! [stops]

[People are looking at him in shock, and Cartman starts twirling his finger around his head and whistling at Stan to indicate he's insane]

Mr. Mackey:
Stan, as your counselor, I'm here to help you with whatever problems you might have, m'kay? Now, what is the matter? [before Stan answers, he looks around the office. Mr. Mackey has a lot of junk in there]

Stan:
Well, my friends are worried that I'm showing signs of... "hoarding."

Mr. Mackey:
Hoarding? M'kay, what's that?

Stan:
Well, apparently, it's when you... don't throw anything away and soon you find yourself, living with a, bunch of... junk?

Mr. Mackey:
Hmmm, I haven't heard of that, but it- it definitely sounds bad, m'kay?

Stan:
[looks around again] Mr. Mackey, is there, maybe anything you wanna talk about?

Mr. Mackey:
Me? ...Like, like what?

Stan:
[looks around and picks up an empty milk carton from a box] Well like, you've got an old milk carton here from a month ago that's like-

Mr. Mackey:
DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT! THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO THROW AWAY! IF YOU THROW THAT AWAY I WILL RAPE YOU IN THE MOUTH! M'KAY?! I WILL RAPE YOU IN YOUR FUCKIN' MOUTH! M'KAY?!