South Park, Season 15

Cartman:
Let me guess - I'm in trouble again!

Principal Victoria:
You're darn right, Eric!

Cartman:
For what?!

Victoria:
Why did you measure all the boy students's penis sizes and put the results on the school bulletin board?

Cartman:
[points at her] Why did YOU measure our penis sizes and put the results on the school bulletin board?!

Victoria:
What?

Cartman:
I don't care if Obama is president! You don't go around putting little boys on blast, telling the whole world the lengths of their DICKS!

Victoria:
Wait. Are you talking about the numbers we published Tuesday from the physicals?

Cartman:
You're damn right! 1.2 inches. I'll have you know that my penis is a respectable 1.4 inches! Maybe it's still the smallest in school, but it's .2 inches bigger than you said!

Victoria:
The numbers we put up were HEIGHT differentials!

Cartman:
What?

Victoria:
We thought it would be fun to put up how much each student has grown in height since their physical last year. You grew 1.2 inches.

Cartman:
Those weren't our dick sizes?

Victoria:
WHY would we publish the lengths of our students's PRIVATE PARTS?

Cartman:
I don't know! Why would you?!

Victoria:
We didn't!

Cartman:
[gets off the chair] Aw, crap! You mean everyone knows my wiener is smaller than everyone else's... because of me?

Victoria:
THIS is exactly the kind of thing we are always talking about, Eric. You get angry about something, you don't think, and you cause bad things to happen! This time, you've done it to yourself!

Cartman:
Oh, God. Why couldn't I have just taken a minute to think about it?

Victoria:
Because you have an anger problem, Eric!

Cartman:
[points at her] FUCK YOU! NO, I DON'T!