South Park, Season 17

South Park (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Color… more »

[Stan, Kyle, and Kenny wait for the bus at the bus stop]

Kyle:
I am so sick of that stupid bitch! Blabbin' pussy little stank! Why do people talk on their phone like that?! I can't even get a minute of piece before that bitch walks in, holding the cell phone out like this, and talking on speaker phone! Nobody wants to hear your goddamned conversations, you little bitch! You're not that important!

Cartman:
[talking to a friend on the phone, via speaker] Yeah, I know dude. I'm tellng you, it was the worst pain in my entire life.

Lawrence:
How many hours were you guys playing?

Cartman:
Like six hours, dude. And my friends were all like "Dude, Cartman, we need you to keep playing defense!"

Kyle:
AAAARGH!

Lawrence:
You were playing football?

Cartman:
Yeah, but I was like "I can't you guys. I twisted my ankle." In the end though, they really needed me to play, so I just played through the pain, you know what I'm sayin'?

Kyle:
That is not what happened! You totally started crying and quit the game!

Cartman:
[covering the phone] Kyle, this is a private conversation.

Kyle:
Then take that shit speaker phone off!

Lawrence:
Is that that same kid?

Cartman:
Yeah, it's that kid Kyle again. He's a total boner, always listening in on my calls.

Kyle:
How do we have a choice?!

Cartman:
Stop listening to my conversation, Kyle! What are you, the NSA?! Lawrence, remember how I was tellin' you the NSA listens to everyone's phone calls and reads all our e-mails?

Lawrence:
Yeah, yeah, you said that.

Toby:
My dad says the government keeps a database on everyone.

Cartman:
Who is that? Is that Toby?

Toby:
Yeah.

Cartman:
Dude, Toby, are you over at Lawrence's?

Toby:
Yeah, we're ditching school.

Cartman:
You're what? What, you say?

Lawrence:
Me and Toby are ditching school!

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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