South Park, Season 19

South Park (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Color… more »

PC Principal:
All right, everyone, listen up. In order for better understanding, we've asked students of Canadian origin to introduce you to their culture and—HEY, LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!! Now where was I? Oh. yeah. We've asked students of Canadian origin To introduce you to their culture and customs. So let's give them our undivided attention as they take us on a whirlwind journey through their diverse history. [hands microphone to Canadian kids]

Canadian Kids 1:
We are the Hopewell and Abenaki, first settlers of Canadian soil, guy. [hands mic over to second group]

Canadian Kids 2:
We are French and British explorers, seeking furs and goods. [Mr. Garrison walks up and takes the mic]

Mr. Garrison:
Yeah, and I'm Dan Rather, and I got news for you! Nobody wants you here! [long beat] Sorry not sorry! It's time for someone to say it like it is, and make our country great again!

PC Principal:
Garrison, what do you think you're—?!

Mr. Garrison:
And I'm also not afraid to stand up to PC Principal Peter Charles! You, sir, have a pizza face and you suck your mom's dick!

PC Principal:
[beat] That's it, Garrison! You are fired from South Park Elementary! You can say my real name too!

Mr. Garrison:
Oh, see? And now I'm fired! That's the cold, hard truth of immigration! Well, there's only one immigration policy that I believe in, and that's buckskin them all to death!! [all students gasp] I'm just saying what everyone's thinking here, kids! Sorry not sorry!

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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