South Park, Season 3

Mr. Garrison Sr.:
Alright. Would you have sex with your son to save his life? [the others ponder the question]

Patron 2:
Oh, this is one of them Scruples questions, ain't it?

Patron 1:
No, no, I got a better one: Would you have sex with your mother to save your father's life?

Patrons:
[wondering] Woo, yeah.

Patron 2:
Oh, like if someone had a gun to your father's head and said, "Have sex with your mother or else I'll shoot him"?

Patron 1:
Yeah.

Patron 2:
Oh, that's a tough one.

Patron 3:
Hmm.

Mr. Garrison Sr.:
No no wait, uh, you don't understand.

Blond:
How about if someone made you have sex with your mother and father to save your own life?

Patrons:
No, no, no way. No.

Patron 6:
But if it was to save my mother's life, uh-I think I would have to have sex with my father.

Patron 7:
Yep.

Patron 8:
Me, too.

Patron 9:
Well, I think that goes without saying.

Mr. Garrison Sr.:
Well actually, I'm just...talking about a son.

Patron 8:
Well, personally, I would have sex with my son to save to save my mother's life. It depends, uh- how big a gun are we talking here?

Mr. Garrison Sr.:
Uh, he doesn't have a gun.

Blond:
The father doesn't have a gun?

Mr. Garrison Sr.:
No! Nobody's got a gun!

Patron 3:
I think if someone said, "Have sex with your mother or else I'm gonna kill your son," but he didn't have a gun, I wouldn't do it.

Patron 2:
He could have a knife, though.

Patron 1:
Yeah.

Patron 3:
Sure.

Patron 1:
Yeah, a knife.

Bartender:
If a killer put a knife to my throat, and said, "Have sex with your father or else I'm gonna kill your mother while having sex with you," I would have sex with myself.