SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 1

SpongeBob:
Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?! [Loser 1 walks up to SpongeBob, shining red]

Loser 1:
No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen. [places a fin on herself, and it leaves a sounding mark, which vanishes]

SpongeBob:
Ouch. [a fish walks up to the two]

Loser 2:
No, I am. I got sand in my buns. [shows them two sandy hamburger buns. There is a rumbling coming from the sand and a whale pops his head out of the sand]

Loser 3:
No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me.

All:
What happened to you?

SpongeBob:
I lost my best friend.

All:
How? [SpongeBob grabs a sand guitar and sings he is front of the sand castle and a sand telephone he built earlier]

SpongeBob:
When I ripped... [his underwear starts ripping] my pants. [starts to sing] I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, [The curtain comes down and a spotlight shines on SpongeBob] all just because I [rips his underwear again] ripped my pants. [the other three "losers of the beach" assemble on a sand stage with sand instruments and sing]

All:
♪When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and [Loser 1 turns around and suddenly, her bottom then rips, splitting open, revealing her white underwear] ripped his pants!♪

SpongeBob:
[singing voice, a crowd begins to gather] ♪I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse. 'Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun...♪

All:
♪Or sand in your buns!♪ [instrumental break. The loser scrapes the two buns together to make a rhythm then the curtain shows waves crashing about: drum, clarinets, and bass drum]

SpongeBob:
♪I learned a lesson I won't soon forget... so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself; don't miss your chance... and you won't end up like the fool... who... ripped... his... pants!♪ [the whole group comes together one by one in sync with the music and they rip their pants. By now, a huge crowd has gathered and is cheering the group onstage. A blimp flies by with SpongeBob's name on it. It's revealed that SpongeBob and his band were having a concert]

Sandy:
SpongeBob!

SpongeBob:
Sandy! [she gets onstage and hugs SpongeBob. He returns the embrace]

Sandy:
Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. [Larry walks up]

Larry:
[impressed with SpongeBob's singing during the big concert] SpongeBob, that was so righteous. [hands SpongeBob a pencil] Would you... sign my pants?

SpongeBob:
Absolutely, buddy.

[SpongeBob bends down to sign Larry's pants. His underwear then rips off completely, leaving SpongeBob "au naturel." Someone off-screen whistles. SpongeBob covers his crotch, grins, and blushes sheepishly, ending the episode.]