SpongeBob SquarePants, Season 10

Sandy:
Huh? SpongeBob, what's going on?

SpongeBob:
Oh, hey— [SpongeBob and Patrick hit each other] Sandy. Patrick and I are— [SpongeBob and Patrick hit each other again] in the middle of a sports game.

[Patrick jumps onto SpongeBob.]

Sandy:
This sure don't look like any sport I've seen before. [SpongeBob and Patrick hit each other again.]

SpongeBob:
I believe it's called kickboxing, or something? [Patrick falls down.]

Sandy:
Well, whatever it is, it seems to be causing you lots of pain. [SpongeBob hits Patrick.]

Patrick:
Ow! Sure is. [gets hit again] Ooh!

Sandy:
Why not stop playing it if it hurts so bad?

Patrick:
We can't stop... [panting] Until we break our tie.

Sandy:
Says who?

[The trumpeters play and fog steams out from between the booths.]

Shark Son:
It's the rule giver.

[The crowd murmurs as Don the Whale, Frank the Muscular Goldfish, and Larry the Lobster carry Squidward, who is in a grim reaper outfit, onto the field. They set him down and the crowd cheers.]

Sandy:
I ain't never heard of a rule giver.

Squidward:
[flips his hood] I prefer "King of Sports," but you can never tell what will catch on with the small folk.

Sandy:
You're making up a game where SpongeBob and Patrick hurt themselves, and you won't let them stop?!

Squidward:
I'm just giving the people what they want.

Sandy:
That's pretty low, Squidward, even for you. I'm putting a stop to this. SpongeBob and Patrick have had enough! [SpongeBob and Patrick appear brutally beaten up by Squidward's so-called games.]

Squidward:
See? They're fine. Let the games resume. [Sandy grumbles and the audience cheers.]

Sandy:
Oh, I don't think so. Y'all want to see a game? Fine. Squidward, I challenge you to a game—a game of basketball. Winner decides the fate of SpongeBob and Patrick. [throws basketballs in Squidward's face.]

Squidward:
Huh? [the crowd cheers] Me? Play sports? No, no. I'm mostly in an advisory position.

Jimmy Gus:
Aw, come on! We came to see some action! Play the squirrel! Play the squirrel!

Crowd:
Play the squirrel! Play the squirrel!

Sandy:
See you on the court, Your Highness. [shoves the crown down Squidward's face]